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Friday, January 28, 2011

Thinking about bedtime

What is it about nighttime that sends your mind swirling?

Our nighttime routine is always the same. We go to bed (usually) at the same time. We flip through the channels absentmindedly and usually settle on something mildly entertaining. And just when I get into the show and want to see what happens next, it’s a commercial break and Sean decides it’s time to go to sleep. The TV goes off and we’re slowly lulled to sleep by the hum of the fan.

I do some of my best—and my worst—thinking in these quiet moments between TV and glorious slumber. Is it that I finally (for maybe the only time of the day) have no distraction to keep me from the thoughts lurking in my head? Or is it the virtual silence that draws me to suddenly ponder life’s biggest questions in the few minutes I have before I succumb to exhaustion?

Whatever it may be, it’s been wearing on me lately. Rather than simply closing my eyes and going to sleep, I find myself worrying incessantly about the future, about big decisions (about hard decisions), about what I’m doing right and wrong. It inevitably keeps me awake longer that I’d like and only leads to bizarre dreams and restless sleep.

Enough already!

These thoughts can often be irrational and misplaced. What I really need to do is begin to acknowledge that. If I give them less power, and quit thinking that I can be philosophical and prophetic while the rest of the world is sleeping, then I think I can beat this game.

And since it’s the weekend, I think tonight is the perfect time to start!

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