Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Tune in Tuesdays

In 2007, I lost someone very close to me - my aunt Morning. Growing up she was like a second mom to me. And as I got older, our relationship grew even more into friendship.

I cherished our conversations, enjoyed her company, and looked to her for advice and comfort. When I got engaged earlier this year, she was one of the first people I wanted to call. My mom said the same thing. It breaks my heart that it keeps happening, that we still reach for the phone to call her on a regular basis.

So why am I telling you this now?

Because September is suicide awareness and prevention month. And Morning committed suicide.

There's no explanation, no justification, no answers. Just the cold, hard truth that we're left to live with every day. And we wrestle with a host of emotions - anger, devastation, guilt, disappointment. Most of all, we just miss her, and wish that something - anything - could change the way things ended up.

But we can't. And at least for me, that's one of the hardest things about suicide. Trying to understand something that is not understandable. I guess most death is that way, but with suicide it seems even worse.

So this month I encourage you to learn a little more about suicide. Things to watch for. The grief process. The lasting effects for suicide survivors (those who have lost loved ones to suicide). Anything. Because you might be surprised who in your life has been touched by it.

And as for Morning, the way she died does not define her. In fact, it's the smallest of matters in a life that was so huge, so incredible, so beautiful.

And that brings us to the lyrics for this week. They're from a song that makes me cry almost every time I hear it, if only because I can relate to every single word.

Want to know what Tune in Tuesdays is all about? Read more here.

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