Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Impending doom

Today my company announced that, for the second time this year, they'll be doing layoffs again. Starting today.

Our department has been told that no decisions will be communicated today, and that we should know by end of day tomorrow who is affected.

We sort of had a feeling this was coming, but it doesn't make the stress and frustration any easier. When this happened earlier this year, we had to go almost 2 weeks before we knew if we were affected, so at least it's only 48 hours this time.

The problem is, I am one of the most anxious people I know. I can hardly standing waiting, especially when it's coupled with fear and stress. I have such physical reactions to emotional stress that I work myself into a total tizzy.

I've already broken my no-crying-at-work rule today. I can probably guarantee you I willl not sleep tonight (unless aided by my dear friend Advil PM), and my stomach will be in permanent knots until closing time tomorrow.  No matter how much I talk myself into being "safe," there's still no way of knowing. And no matter what happens, it just plain sucks. People will be losing their jobs, people who I am used to seeing every day.

Worlds will be turned upside down in the next 48 hours. Please God, just don't let it be mine. (And yet, I feel guilty for praying for my own job security when it means someone else may not get the same.)

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