Thursday, February 23, 2012

On tradition - and breaking it

I tend to be somewhat traditional, especially when it comes to sentimental things. Take, for example, our wedding.
  • I want an even number of bridesmaids and groomsmen.
  • I want the white dress, the dramatic veil, the whole shebang. And I want it to be a surprise to the groom.
  • I want the full mass, followed by your standard dinner and dancing reception.
  • I want a special moment—caught on video and camera, of course—when my groom and I see each other for the first time that day (since our church requires us to take pictures before the ceremony, we won’t be able to go until the ceremony without seeing each other).
  • I want a cake, even though I do think cupcakes are adorable.
  • I'll be sure to have something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.
But the funny thing is, as much as I like following tradition, life isn’t always traditional. It’s not a fairy tale. It’s not prescriptive. And it’s for that reason that it was important to me—to both of us—to break tradition, too.

  • My mom will be walking me down the aisle. Lots of girls dream of having their daddy on their arm. For me, it's always been my mom I pictured there beside me. My best friend. Two parents in one. The reason I am who I am. There's not a single person I'd rather have next to me.
  • With too many little ones to choose from (most of them boys), and not wanting to hurt anyone’s feelings, we decided not to have a flower girl or ring bearer at all.
  • Just before the ceremony begins, Sean will walk his mom to her seat, accompanied by his 2 brothers, and the 4 of them will light a candle for his dad. Among all the excitement for the wedding is one very big disappointment—that his dad can’t be here with us. At least this way we know he’ll be with us in spirit.
  • And because Sean’s brothers will be up front with him already, we’ve decided to have them both serve as co-best men, standing beside their brother in the nerve-racking moments before the ceremony begins. (And 2 maids of honor then, too. Or, a matron of honor and maid of honor anyway.)
  • No father-daughter dance or father-of-the-bride toast. (And that’s OK!)
  • I’m wearing purple shoes!
  • The groom will toast with apple juice (hey, he doesn’t drink).
Because in the end, our wedding is a celebration of our love for each other, the people we are, and the family and friends who have supported us with their friendship and love. It should be a reflection of our lives. If honoring those things means going outside the norm and creating our own tradition, then that’s exactly what we’ll do.

And it’s exactly how I’ve always dreamed it would be.  


  1. I think that's a great combination of traditional and making your day uniquely yours. We had a lot of things we definitely didn't want on our wedding day, a few odd additions as well. And it's nice that you are allowed those options. So glad I found your blog. I said this in my email to you, but I ADORE finding my fellow Minne gals.

  2. Visiting from your iblog4me interview. I think your wedding sounds fabulous! I just love that you're making it exactly what you want. As a fellow non-drinker to your groom, the apple juice sounds amazing. And if I ever have a wedding, I'll most likely do the same :).